Where Has the Kindness Gone?
Where Has the Kindness Gone?
A note was recently passed on to us at VIM Executive Coaching, mid-level executive whom we very much liked who decided to leave her position to start her own venture as an independent consultant. While we normally cheer our clients for their life’s decisions, in this case we were saddened and exasperated.
For she detailed a corporate pattern of inequity, workplace bullying and a general lack of respect for her work ethic, professionalism and loyalty. The last sentence of her note troubled us; she asked, “Where has the kindness gone?”
More valid than can be detailed
Of course, we would volunteer to write her a recommendation in the future, and of course (unfortunately) our former client represents a microcosm of a far bigger problem.
In a fascinating article for the American Psychological Association on the decline of empathy and the rise of narcissism (this has become a major executive leadership topic), Psychologist Sara Konrath was interviewed. An expert in the field, Konrath in-part stated:
“There are many, many different ways and lots of research trying to increase empathy. I don't think there's one way. The first thing I would say is that, we have to want to, it has to be important to us. The motivation really matters…and also focusing on similarities between yourself and others.”
Those who espouse to be kind, compassionate executive leaders must strive to embrace a dedication and a purpose into increasing empathy.
The old way doesn’t work
When so many workers walked off of so many jobs, there was an abundance of head-scratching and finger-pointing.
“Why, oh why,” we heard emanating from boardrooms from Batavia to Berne, much like the officious executives of olden times, who pounded fists on desks thinking that they had done everything humanly possible to retain employees. It turned out the “everything humanly possible” part in their minds was always about compensation, benefits and physical perks such as company cars and bus passes.
However, it was discovered (gasp) that today’s employees also want to be respected, engaged, appreciated and heard. More so, employees want equity, inclusion and greater diversity. Employees need more than security from a financial perspective, but ultimately to be understood as wanting to make an impact.
When that shift occurred, VIM Executive Coaching did hear from flummoxed old-way (not necessarily, old-school or “old,”) leaders who stammered, “I have no idea how to lead that way, I wasn’t even nurtured that way myself.”
We get it, and it is ironic.
Executive leaders throughout the world are rarely nurtured in the ways of mindfulness. Yet mindfulness is as ancient as time.
Most executive leaders know of spreadsheets, financial strategies, the latest in software and all things digital. They understand social media, the latest manufacturing techniques, everything virtual and what they perceive as team building complete with cup holders and t-shirts, but when it comes to the topic of mindfulness, the room grows cold and silent.
For mindfulness is a subjective intention.
No age limits here…
Who are the mindful executives, those who are compassionate, authentic and kind? Where did they attend school, learn how to be more in the moment, connect with those above and below them? What age are they? How did they discover they were mindful?
The only question above to be answered with complete authority, is that they are “no-age.” A mindful executive can be 23 or 83, any gender – all genders, any race, any religion or no religion. The executive must only have the intention to be kind, aware, and mindful. Retaining key employees, likewise is also a matter of subjective intention.
Where has kindness gone? Unless executive leaders dedicate themselves to greater mindfulness, we will continue to lose it. Of all things in corporate life, kindness, the intention to be kind, must receive our highest priority.
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