"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."
~Oscar Wilde (Not!)
We at VIM Executive Coaching may be the first to tell you that Oscar Wilde, the famous writer, poet, playwright and trend-setter, never made the famous quote that is shown above. Perhaps it was his Dublin tailor, a Parisian dog groomer or an Italian Fishmonger who sold him a pound of shrimp.
Being misquoted is another burden of fame. Nevertheless, the expression is a good observation no matter who said it. We need to be ourselves.
In our daily, 2025 lives, we run into all manner of people who long to be someone else. Let’s face it, we’re a nation of wannabe’s and copycats. It frequently gets us into trouble, from unnecessary buying sprees to some folks accumulating substantial online gambling debts as a way “to become wealthy,” to tens of thousands of naturally beautiful people who pay exorbitant amounts of money to be someone else. We see this in the form of anti-aging cremes, plastic surgeries and dubious dietary trends that often lead to health problems.
What we know of Oscar Wilde was that given the times in which he lived, the 1850s to 1900, with its rather austere Victorian sensibility, he was certainly not afraid to be himself. You might say that Oscar Wilde was wildly authentic.
Strangely, in this 2025 time, far removed from Victorian life, many of us are still afraid to be authentic. Many are afraid to be themselves. “We” often look to social media influencers to tell us what do wear or how to smell; our athletes often dictate shoe styles; our news media frequently dictates our politics; our celebrity chefs tell us what to eat and even our local paint stores tell us the colors we should be painting our homes.
And, all of the above might be good if only, we truly needed to smell like lemongrass, or dress in tight Yoga outfits or wear $400 sneakers or to vote for a person we disliked, or wanted to eat candied Rutabaga’s, or desired to decorate our homes in persimmon with ochre trim. We’re not saying following a trend is bad, but when we know it’s not us, or doesn’t vibe with us, or is irrelevant to us, the results can be catastrophic.
Be yourself
In our 2025 time, when we have choices and alternatives that could have never occurred to Oscar Wilde or his fishmonger, many of us are still locked into inauthentic group think. In the executive ranks, the lack of mindfulness and authenticity is often astounding.
The lack of mindfulness frequently spills over to co-workers or subordinates.
About a decade or more ago, executives were chided because they did not “think outside the box.” The problem with that impossible to define term, was that no one could answer what was actually in the box. While we are certainly not the first to make note of that fact, we will suggest that with the greater development of executive mindfulness and authenticity, what was already in the box can be plenty enough.
The leadership road is strewn with executives who are in a constant search for tools outside of themselves, when the qualities of what they already possess could be refined and made to shine.
Being yourself in the executive leadership sense, does not have to cause you to embark on a journey far outside your sensibilities, but to value and treasure that uniqueness that is you and turn it into something authentic and powerful.
Whoever said the famous quote attributed to Wilde, was right.
You can be, indeed, ONLY should be, uniquely you. Mindfulness training, to be a better version of yourself and to be authentically you, is incredibly powerful.
As with any great quote, the quote itself can be far more powerful than the person to whom it was attributed. Every executive leader can be encouraged to be more effective if they but develop and celebrate what is already inside.