“It is important to note that self-nurturing is not a one-time event but rather an ongoing process. By making self-nurturing a part of one’s routine, individuals can reap the benefits of improved well-being over time. It is also important to remember that self-nurturing looks different for everyone, and individuals should find what works best for them.”
~Minimalism Made Simple (May 1, 2023)
At VIM Executive Coaching, we often hear heartfelt recollections of executive leaders who were never nurtured or mentored at-home or in their careers. We don’t specifically ask to hear such accounts, and we are clearly not psychologists but business coaches. Nevertheless, there is an unmistakable pattern of those who were not nurtured, who in turn, could not nurture peers or subordinates.
As it turns out, the lack of self-nurturing and mentoring in our society have reached near epidemic proportions and not expectantly, executive leaders have difficulty when it comes to fostering and helping others. Multiple factors are seen as contributing to the problem, ranging from all-virtual workplaces to social media to (let’s face it) a lack of civility that has permeated every aspect of our society.
Apologies aside
In a recent article appearing on the Indeed.com website (March 25, 2025), the author stated:
“Managers and supervisors ensure that teams set and meet goals, have the resources and training they need and receive constructive feedback. Sometimes, these leaders can be inconsistent in how they give feedback to and discipline team members. This can lead to team members feeling unsupported, unfairly disciplined and unsure of how they can improve in their role, which can all impact team member satisfaction and turnover rates.”
Despite good employment numbers, turnover rates continue to soar. We believe the generalized lack of nurturing executives are receiving from their superiors, peers, industries, vendors and often, associations, are in turn leading to negative employee satisfaction outcomes.
Executives have lost the ability to communicate, to support (nurture), to discipline and to feel confident in their roles. We were half-way kidding when we suggested executive leaders should be taking jobs in garden centers. For that matter, we might have also recommended volunteering in hospitals, mentoring high school students, tending flower beds in community gardens, coaching soccer or painting and repairing the rundown home of a shut-in. To self-nurture, people need to nurture. It is a continuing cycle. Ironically, the list of unfilled nurturing opportunities is endless as is the need for self-nurturing.
In brief, executive leaders often forget to nurture or never learned the art from the start. Many leaders don’t know what they should know.
As with many executive journeys, the lack of nurturing and self-nurturing lead to the destination called “Mindfulness.” Unmindful people don’t know what they need to know to self-nurture, and clearly, don’t know what they need to nurture others.
Mindfulness leads to this awareness. Mindfulness breaks the “un-nurturing cycle.”
Unfortunately, a lack of authentic nurturing can’t be faked. Not only, can’t it be faked in insincere words or actions, it can also be felt. How often have we heard sentiments like: “They are not bad people, but there is just something about them…”
Often, that something is a lack of authenticity, a lack of mindfulness and a mismatch between words and sincere actions.
While most executives are unable to take the time out of their day to water plants in a garden center or teach a troubled youth to dribble a soccer ball around pylons, they can clearly hone their mindfulness skills.
Nurturing is an art
The cultivation of mindfulness and learning the skill of nurturing self – and others, is an art. Art of any kind takes time of course, but more so, awareness. It is not a skill taught in business schools and rarely, within the real or virtual walls of organizations. It requires response, presence and a commitment to improving self as well as others.
Nurturing is a precious gift and an important skill. It is a rare attribute and to that end, it is a highly valued trait of a committed leader.