On Being a Broken Bowl
On Being a Broken Bowl
“Sometimes it takes a heartbreak to shake us awake and help us see we are worth so much more than we’re settling for.”
VIM Executive Coaching will pose a simple question with this post: what is a heartbreak, and is it always “romantic?” Heartbreak can also mean despair, bitter disappointment and pain. It does not have to be “about love.” Heartbreak can be romantic and most of us have known it on a highly personal level.
However, anyone, at any level in business and corporate life has also brushed-up against the vagaries of a good thing turning bad. Think of anyone from an entrepreneur who has seen a business collapse, to the CEO of a multi-million-dollar corporation who has learned the sales department has been bribing overseas customers, to the HR director of a fast-food chain made aware the vice president of franchise operations is a serial abuser.
And, in each one of the examples cited above, the outcomes often and inadvertently affect all of those around them. It may be the pain of failure, law suits and ultimately, being blamed and made into the scape goat. It can break people and broken pieces can never be made perfect.
The Wabi-Sabi of it all
The Japanese have a phrase for broken pieces, carefully mended, and it is known as Wabi-Sabi.
Our society often strives for the brand new, the fresh and the perfect. “We” love our flawless homes and gardens and people. “We admire” fashion models, athletes and frequently successful business people are deified. In actuality, most everything is flawed when examined up close and personal.
There is nothing flawless. It is best for every executive leader at every level to accept that reality. We have known models and celebrities and they wear make-up. Some have had health and emotional issues; they have lost major roles, or have been “sideways” with the law. We have known athletes living with crippling injuries or who are substance abusers or are forced to retire due to a myriad of problems – including age. Nothing is without pain and almost everything is impermanent.
We are certainly knowledgeable of business people who have been fired or demoted or isolated because they were unaware or not included in the happenings in their workplaces.
When the walls cave in, when the hoped-for perfection and happy corporate life gets shattered, every executive leader has a distinct choice: to throw the pieces of the career into the trash bin or to strive to understand, to find as many pieces as possible, and to fix the damage.
For generations, the philosophy of Wabi-Sabi has taught leaders that often the repaired pieces are stronger and much more beautiful than the initial piece in and of itself. In traditional households, gold or other precious substances were uses to fuse the broken pieces. The results could be breathtaking – and far more interesting and pleasing than the original.
With executives, VIM Executive Coaching has learned that mindfulness training; self-knowledge and greater authenticity, can pull the broken pieces of a career together and forge incredible executive leaders.
“It’s not here”
For we have learned that any executive leader looking for perfection in themselves or others, will never find it. However, that does not mean an executive who has made a mistake is irreparable. As stated in our initial quote, sometimes “it takes a heartbreak to shake us awake.”
Because an executive leader feels themselves to be flawed should not lead to the conclusion of having to settle for any situation that comes along. It could be that the flaws, once repaired (once awakened), create greater mindfulness, experience and ultimately greater self-knowledge.
There is no shame in accidentally breaking something precious, but in discarding it because it is seen as less than perfect. In actuality, it may be much more beautiful once fixed.
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VIM Executive Coaching offers dynamic, highly effective coaching programs for executives and entrepreneurs. Our unique approach combines ancient wisdom and techniques with modern approaches. We would be happy to offer you a FREE, NO OBLIGATION coaching consultation! Please click on the link below.