Why Mindful People Listen
Why Mindful People Listen
“The word ‘listen’ contains the same letters as the word ‘silent’.”
We must admit that author Alfred Brendel’s quotation is one that we had never fully embraced. Yet, in our world, the VIM Executive Coaching world, the citation is so apropos to our lessons we could not avoid talking about it for this week’s post.
We are entangled
The world, it seems, is entangled in a net of anger, opinion, blind debate and indignation. In a more localized fashion, the business and nonprofit worlds appear to be following the same template.
As we are business coaches who have certainly learned the important values of listening and knowing when to be silent, you might be amazed at some of the recent conversations in regard to workplace vitriol our clients have confidentially brought forward.
You might believe that given the number of clients we have coached over the years that “nothing would surprise us,” however these times seem (both virtual and in-person) that there has been a race afoot to see who can come up with the most outrageous stories of workplace “deafness.” We are not, of course, referring to a physical impairment but to an unwillingness to listen and a failure of many executive leaders “to hear.”
When communication breaks down into a knee-jerk or almost pre-determined reaction rather than a true and genuine response, everyone loses. Whether the loss occurs within the same office or two virtual offices 5,000 miles apart, it is still a loss that affects communication, authenticity and even a sense of self-esteem. Much of the turnover we are experiencing is generally not as the result of salary or benefit differential, but of complaints that management is unfeeling, disinterested and unable to pay attention to what is being said and what is being shared.
In study after study, the most successful work environments are not those that offer the highest salaries or best holiday parties, but those where employees feel that people are listening, where there is mutual respect and honest communication. To ignore this set of factors is to ignore and reject mindfulness.
Is anyone listening?
Our society, admittedly, tends to reject mindfulness. We are far too quick to reject listening with open minds and hearts, to keep silent when another speaks their truth, to wait – if only for a few beats – before launching into a diatribe totally ignoring what was just said. For truly, our modern-day social constructs from cable news to social media to fixating on tiny phone screens, is far more exclusive than inclusive. We have become super tribal, where we seek like-mindedness rather than expansion of outlook and opinion.
The absence of mindfulness results in close-mindedness, and it is a shame, for most people do have something to say and something to contribute. When an employee leaves an organization after the constant frustration of “not being heard, or seen or appreciated,” it is almost always a situation where mindfulness is absent, or at best in short supply.
In the examples we shared above, be they cable news commentaries or social media and so forth, mindfulness is sacrificed and opposing opinion or input is automatically squelched. Executive leaders should not use internet diatribes or cable news commentaries to guide their mindfulness styles! Far better to gain authenticity by shutting down the digital and exploring the truths we should all carry within ourselves.
The keys to greater workplace respect, response rather than reaction and a celebration of one another is through mindfulness. Now, more than ever, we need to listen to one another and to even allow the beautiful impact of our silence in the moment.
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