Caring for Troubled Hearts (It’s Not My Job?)
Caring for Troubled Hearts (It’s Not My Job?)
In person, virtual or hybrid, VIM Executive Coaching understands there have never quite been times like these.
The level of work place contention has gone through the roof; the differences politically, socially and culturally have torn so many of us apart – and in the process, the very fabric of the organization. All too often, executive leaders either run away from the first signs of dissension or shut it down with iron fist-like anger.
It’s not my job?
As business coaches we maintain a strict boundary between the worlds of training and psychoanalysis. Executive leaders who delve into the world of therapy often edge into the inappropriate and ill-advised. There are (and should be) distinct limitations. While we respect everyone’s “humanity” and often, their desire to offer solace or reflection, there can be unintended consequences of the crossing of lines.
If this is confusing, fear not. These types of executive leadership conversations are occurring over hundreds of thousands of organizations in all kinds of industries. Often, the conversations themselves can lead to as much rancor as the subjects of what should and should not be said.
So, how as an executive leader can it ever be known when boundaries are in danger of being crossed or what is – and it not in one’s leadership “job description?” When does the leader determine the point at which they can no longer listen to a problem or a complaint or when the business aspects are about to cross over into an uncomfortable territory?
Before moving on in this point of the discussion, it is again necessary to explain that playing the “concerned” or “highly engaged” executive leader can – and does – often have unintended consequences. We are virtually certain you’re a good person (after all, you’re following us!) but please stand forewarned that the most well-meaning intentions have resulted in major lawsuits, misinterpretation, flat-out resignation or executive leader termination itself.
Be Mindful
Despite the overabundance of materials available in videos, podcasts, courses and guides on executive leadership and actively listening to employee and co-worker concerns, most come up short. To start, listening with authenticity is neither posturing nor posing. It is much more and embraces more. What it isn’t, it “know-it-all.”
To listen with a compassionate heart and an authentic attitude, doesn’t require a tweed suit, a long beard or an advanced degree from a university in Vienna however, it does demand a sense of self-knowledge.
While we are not trying to be flippant, we are frequently surprised at those who believe “listening skills” are somehow linked to striking a posture or carefully reflecting and tossing back everything said to them.
Far better, infinitely better, to authentically heed, to absorb all that is being said, and to reply:
“You know, I want to help, but I’m thinking you might be a lot wiser talking this out with a professional,” or, “I will be happy to listen to work place concerns and to work toward a solution if I can, but there are aspects best to be discussed with a mental health professional.”
How does the executive leader best differentiate these areas? Mindfulness training is invaluable in this regard. Having an open heart is invaluable, as is knowing, with full compassion, where your ability to help ends and then, when to direct the co-worker to other resources begins.
It is true that recent times have never been as contentious as these, however you can make a great difference as an executive leader. You needn’t be perfect or know all of the answers but to have an open heart filled with mindfulness and authenticity.
We can help you reach that important objective. Caring for a troubled heart is difficult however, genuinely listening and then gently directing may change a life.
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VIM Executive Coaching offers dynamic, highly effective coaching programs for executives and entrepreneurs. Our unique approach combines ancient wisdom and techniques with modern approaches. We would be happy to offer you a FREE, NO OBLIGATION coaching consultation! Please click on the link below.