"Don't depend too much on anyone in this world because even your own shadow leaves you when you are in darkness."
—Ibn Taymiyyah, Writer, Poet
“What do you think?”
“I don’t know at this point, what do you think?”
How often do groups hear their own silence?
As a mindfulness training client recently (and rhetorically) asked, “When did teams recently decide that ‘not talking’ was the same thing as being mindful and cautious?”
It was the most interesting question regarding obstacles to mindfulness training we’ve heard in quite a while. In answer to the question above, “group fear” has been in effect for decades. It has gotten worse instead of better. There is often so much inner dialogue and angst (a good friend calls it, “group constipation”) among executives in groups before making a decision, many would rather say nothing, add nothing, suggest nothing before risking the fear of being judged.
This fear has permeated the executive suite at all levels.
Back in March 2018, before the word “pandemic” had re-emerged into the lexicon, business writer Liz Melon wrote an inciteful piece on “group fears” in the work place. She listed five possible explanations for the fear of expressing an opinion: short-termism (I won’t be employed here for too long), perfectionism (I won’t say anything until I say it perfectly), pugilism (fear of being angrily confronted), hierachialism (their opinion is more valuable because they’re higher-up), and our “favorite,” intellectualism (opinions are emotional).
We could spend a thousand words on each fear point listed. Instead, we will mindfully counter each point with an authentic response:
- Short-timers should be respectfully heard in any group. Their leaving the organization may be due to hundreds of reasons other than impending termination or career move or retirement. In fact, they might be the most authentic group.
- Any executive sitting in a team meeting should have been helped to understand that no one or nothing, and especially no opinion is always going to be perfect. We again reflect on the concept of Wabi-sabi and the beauty of imperfection. There is no perfect answer rather is the group’s task to strive for the best answer or solution and carefully weighing possibilities.
- Pugilism or confrontation (even implied threats or bullying) cannot be tolerated in any group. There is no excuse. Yes, we have seen it and the outcome is almost always a failed team and generally (eventually) a failed company. Bullying, in any fashion with a group, is most always a cover-up for authenticity.
- Hierachialism in groups is often an invalidation (“I am higher-up than you, and my opinion weighs more”). It is tough for a senior manager to give up power to allow for more expression and sharing, yet it is essential. Executive leaders at any leadership level, must be willing to bend and be flexible to new opinions and pathways.
- Intellectualism often kills the very essence of mindfulness. This is an era where group-think becomes so weighted with data (and AI won’t make it better) that the simple joy of mindful creativity is often destroyed by mountains of data, numbers, opinions and inflexibility of reaction. The best groups temper data with heart and compassion.
Fear Chokes Mindfulness; Conversely, Mindfulness Creates Light
There is a mountain of psychological, analytic and organizational evidence that supports the contention that group mindfulness enhances group problem solving and creativity.
Whether an organization is in the business of orchids or electronic parts, software development or crypto-currency, mindfulness training has yielded highly positive results.
There is a beauty in groups when group members are encouraged to step out from behind any self-imposed shadows and allow their unique qualities to light the way toward greater mindfulness.