“People submit too easily to change from others. And yet, for some reason, whenever they consider changing themselves, the focus is always on what they are giving up, never what they are about to gain.”
—Chris Murray, Singer and Songwriter
VIM Executive Coaching has a great deal of experience in leading people through what is commonly known as transition coaching. Some have labeled transition coaching “adaptation coaching,” which is an apt description, as adaptation takes on a wholly new mindset. It is why we value the above quote. Unless the mindset shifts, most attempts at transitioning to a new career end in failure. The quote gets to the heart of the matter.
It is so easy to listen to the advice others give us. Virtually every week we talk to executives, otherwise intelligent and skilled executives, who say they were talked into a career they never wanted.
Sometimes these “talking into” professions have been “astounding,” from would-be architects who were talked into Family Medicine to would be airline pilots who were convinced to become sales executives in the fashion industry. We want to emphasize that there is nothing inherently wrong with any of these professions, just the right people found themselves in the wrong jobs. There is a price to pay.
In an article by the Indeed.com editorial team (June 9, 2025), the authors stated:
“If your career has continuously caused you to feel negative emotions and mentally unhealthy, you may reconsider your career choice. A right career can improve your mental health by giving you a sense of purpose, providing you with positive social interactions, giving you the resources to take care of yourself and improving your self-esteem.”
In brief, when an executive approaches every day with dread, where there is little purpose, negative social interactions and poor self-esteem, it may be time to leave.
People pleasers
Advice, as we all know, comes all too easy. The adage about “advice being cheap,” is as true now as thousands of years ago. “Others” giving advice may be truly wise in the information they impose, or it could be enough hot air to power the Goodyear Blimp. People often reluctantly listen to (and act on) career advice not because they necessarily want to do so, but because they want to please the individual dispensing the message.
What is all too common, and as business coaches we have seen this, is the complaint of being talked into a decision they never wanted to pursue. So, the question always comes into play as to why these otherwise smart executives or professionals or credentialed tradespeople of any type didn’t do what they really wanted to do in the first place?
Fear of change
In an article by the American Psychological Association (APA) (January 27, 2025), five factors were listed as to why “fear of change” was so hard to overcome. They include, “Safety,” “Freedom,” “Status,” “Belonging,” and “Fairness.”
It is easy, terribly easy, for online experts to tell executives to simply overcome the factors and break through to the sunshine, or some such nonsense. Yes, it is easy for “them” to say. Change is difficult, adaptation to a new mindset is difficult, staying on the course to change can be excruciatingly difficult.
Unless the person who wants to change is given a safe space in which to share and verbalize, plan and authentically adapt to a new career, fear of failure often accompanies the executive on their path.
What we can do as transition coaches is to provide that safe space. There might be a “million voices” telling the executive leader “Why they can’t.” We allow the space for the executive to say, “This is what I need. How can I get there?”
As in the APA quote, fears such as losing a career safety net or no longer identifying with a group or losing an assumed status are real, but none are never as real as the pain of living an inauthentic life. Don’t give up on your mindset. It has merit. It has value. Contact us.