“When did our lives become so difficult and complicated?”
– Conversation in a coffee shop, February 2026
One of our coaches here at VIM Executive Coaching recently overheard the above chat in a coffee shop. The coach observed the two well-dressed executives, probably 41 or 42-years of age, sipping expensive drinks, sorrowful of their lives at the same time, scrolling and laughing through mindless TikTok videos. The videos were played overloud, without regard to anyone around them.
Perhaps this sounds like an overly critical judgment. If so, we apologize. At the risk of sounding even more judgmental, the two left their brief meeting (rather unhappy looks on their faces) and drove off in late model, high-end vehicles.
Distractions
We could take the brief conversation and go in a hundred directions. There is a modern-day tendency to judge everything. Yes, we can view the well-dressed executives with their shiny high-end vehicles and grating presence as being self-indulgent, totally pampered boors. It is so easy to do. We see judgment “a million” times a day on social media, cable news, podcasts and print.
We could see the executives in the light of compassion. Perhaps a co-worker is gravely ill and they are grieving the inevitable. Maybe one of them suffers depression and the other friend was attempting to be humorous.
Could be, they work for the same organization and they understand there will be major workforce reductions – even a sale or merger. Sometimes, people are overloud or pretend to be unphased because they are facing tragedy.
The two executives might have been family members working for two different organizations. Their employment situations might be fine, but there may be a stress-filled situation(s) within the family that is difficult to handle or even acknowledge.
The point is, we often don’t know what is going on directly in front of us. Senses often prove inadequate, especially if there is a bad day afoot or problems with our “situations.”
Again, it is so easy to judge. It is so easy to react. These days, it is so much easier to lose compassion and to act more inauthentically than ever before. It is not harmless. “Reaction” can destroy work (and personal) relationships, work teams, customer or vendor contacts, organizations themselves.
The “distractions” and easy reactions executives often place before themselves in their lives frequently lead to major disappointment and catastrophe.
We don’t know
Point is, if executive leaders and their teams, conclude rather than weigh, balance and respond, they are striking out in the dark. We believe “our work lives have become so difficult and complicated” because those in organizations often neglect to take the time to properly understand situations and fall back to judgment, inappropriate comments and dismissal.
Worse, the skills required to thoughtfully go about being mindful and responsive have not been taught. Self-correction is often difficult as there is no mindful touchstone by which to measure. It is concerning to think about. Throughout most organizations, “mindfulness” like “authenticity” have become some of the latest and greatest buzzwords, but rarely are those terms defined let alone put into meaningful action.
In this easier said than done world, using words and espousing concepts rather than putting them into practice lead executives nowhere. Mindfulness is a process, a way of seeing things as they are, rather than what they are perceived to be.
The “conversation” in the coffee shop, one of the millions of such conversations we overhear every day, might very well have proven to be a call for compassion rather than a pre-meditated verdict. Imagine if social media and cable news, as well as the work place were to adhere to a similar mindset.