“You playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightening about shrinking so others won’t feel insecure around you. As you let your own light shine, you indirectly give others permission to do the same.”
— Marianne Williamson
VIM Executive Coaching was first made aware of the quote in a book of quotations. In fact, the passage above has appeared in movies, on plaques, inscribed on greeting cards, and undoubtedly as a ready-made slogan that has made the many rounds of “AI messaging.”
In terms of career coaching and mindfulness (two of our favorite topics), Ms. Williamson’s insights are meaningful and valuable, for it talks to the way in which many executives view themselves and their roles in organizations.
Leadership Has No “Secret Code”
Many potentially awesome executive leaders are convinced they are ill-prepared for their roles, or worse, have persuaded themselves to believe that whatever the “secret code” to successful executive leadership might be, they don’t have it! Of course, they “have it.” And frankly, the secret code theory is a myth.
As a coping mechanism, these fine folks often believe they should play small, and to “shrink from view” so as to not make waves. It might be called a kind of imposter syndrome: thinking they’re not good enough for their roles or over-judging themselves to such an extent that they go out of their way to never be seen as ambitious or wanting success.
As a result of playing small over a career, executive leaders can indeed “become small.” It’s a shame, because in our view, and to complete the above quote, those who refuse to let their own lights shine also dim the light and the potential of everyone around them. The very concept of a true work team is to have every member of that team elevate every other teammate.
It’s a wish fulfillment prophecy, of course. VIM Executive Coaching specializes in career coaching and we are not psychologists. However, we can’t fail to notice how the personal fears coaching clients have been shaped by in their upbringing often carry over into the workplace dynamic.
The Case for Career Counseling
While perhaps not as refined as the first quotation, our next quotation helps encapsulate the essence of positive career counseling:
“When people change and make you feel small, I'll tuck you into my pocket and feed you cheese, until courage coaxes the tiger out of your rib cage.”
― Curtis Tyrone Jones, Author
The sentiment is sweet but powerful. Positive career counseling should not try to change the client into a conformed mold the coach expects of them. The executive leader should not be a clone of the coach, or adhere to a “this way or that way” philosophy. There are countless quotes on the folly of the attainment of perfection. We’ll save you time. There is no “perfect executive.” They don’t exist. In fact, we would argue that the beauty of personal authenticity is to acknowledge and celebrate flaws.
It is the role of the coach to see the good in their clients and to build on that; to see what is authentic and unique, positive and empowering and build on all of that.
The mindful coach should strive to nurture and then allow the executive leader to be themselves and to allow their light to shine. Simply put, it is not possible to allow the client to be the most mindful version of themselves unless the coach is mindful and authentic as well.
Don’t necessarily believe “it might be you.” It might be a culture that is not allowing authenticity and mindfulness to occur on teams. When a mindful executive leader becomes part of a team, and certainly when the entire team is mindfully free to be themselves, incredible outcomes can result.
Sometimes the most beautiful light can be seen coming from the healed fractures, the fixed pieces and the tiny flaws that come together to produce brilliance. Imagine a collection of those lights coming together with common purpose.