“If you want to conquer the anxiety of life, live in the moment, live in the breath.”
― Amit Ray, Writer and Philosopher
VIM Executive Coaching wants to start this post by restating the quote from above: “Over the course of a career, how many executive leaders take the time to breathe?”
Sounds silly, doesn’t it? Obviously, we breathe (usually involuntarily), about 22,000 breaths per day. How many of those breaths are with intention? In place of the word “breath,” we might allow an intentional substitution of breath with the word, “pause.”
How often do executive leaders take the seconds to pause before a reaction to any kind of conversational stimulus? Please understand the reaction need not be at first angry; it could be “snarky,” judgmental, or even border on the inappropriate. We would submit more careers have been sunk on an unintentionally inappropriate comment than an “angry snap.”
It turns out that this failure to breathe is not necessarily a dumb reaction so much as biology. Brains love to react. Blame the good old prefrontal cortex! Reaction, after all, is how people have survived all these years. Reaction, an overriding of the need to breathe, is part of hard-wiring.
However, assuming most executive leaders are not being chased by a Sabretooth tiger, going from an immediate reaction to a behavior and blasting a co-worker or subordinate is never a good thing.
Allowing for the breath to catch up with the situation is a good thing. The prestigious American Psychological Association recommends that when faced with “a cross-roads moment,” usually taking a number of seconds to get back to less knee-jerk stuff and more rational stuff results in better decision making and serves a career.
The same holds true with potentially off-color humor or a statement that might be seen as “casting shade,” or coming out with the most subtle of “isms,” e.g., racism or sexism, which is patently wrong. Better, always, to be seen as a little dull rather than the executive believing they are doing stand-up. It is a no-win situation in a meeting or any other venue.
Focus on the mission, the setting, and “where you are.”
Learning to Breathe
The stressors of the modern workplace generally take executive leaders away from focus. Moving away from focus is a movement away from conscious breathing.
Recently, The Wall Street Journal (4/30/25) reported on the record number of CEOs and other managers who were opting to walk away from the executive suite.
“Just when they had hoped their headaches might subside following the pandemic, corporate leaders have been hit with a fresh set of challenges: artificial intelligence, tariffs, the possibility of recession and scrutiny of diversity, equity and inclusion efforts, to name a few.
Some who struggled to adapt have been shown the door. For others, a career break or retirement sounds pretty good right now.”
Stress is real and stress is overwhelming. Stress forces executive leaders to snap in reaction. Don’t fall for the bait.
In truth, “snapping” is rarely intentional. Most executive leaders who have lost focus say that if they could take back snapping comments and rude or unintentional reactions, they would.
A better approach is for the executive to be mindful of the setting, what is seen and heard, and to understand what justly needs a response and what doesn’t. Over a long career, this is the best breath of fresh air an executive leader can have. These are skills that can be taught as part of career counseling.
Breathing is never a bad thing, but it sometimes needs to be taught and reinforced.