“Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole person.”
― Maya Angelou
As career and business coaches, VIM Executive Coaching encounters many executive leaders whose first words upon meeting are: “I want meaningful change in my work life. I’m not getting anywhere. I want to change the way I do everything.”
The words are noble and a definite call to action, but the intent is difficult to translate into action. Most executive leaders without proper nurturing and guidance will assuredly return to the same behaviors that have poorly affected their careers from the start.
“Desiring meaningful change” is an unfortunate catch phrase. In 2018, a survey of 300 people conducted by psychologists Brent Menswar and Jim Trick found:
“Nearly all (87%) of the respondents desire meaningful change in their lives. Surprisingly, the survey found that the greatest obstacle stopping people from making change was discipline (30%), followed by money (19%), fear (17%), and time (10%).”
Of course we do!
No executive leader ever got into trouble by saying they wanted meaningful change, whatever and however they perceived that change to be. Nevertheless, almost a third lacked the discipline to go through with it. Change is easy to talk about.
Author and change expert Kathy McLeman wrote:
“People aren’t afraid of change, they’re afraid of loss.’ And that just about sums it up…Change is a loss, a loss of someone, something, or some feeling we have got used to having in our lives…it may ultimately be a positive loss, but there still needs to be time for adjustment and that is the bit we struggle with the most and is why we crave to go back to the familiar even when we know it is not right.”
If an unmindful executive leader is terrified of loss, how can they possibly change? They would rather stay where they are than risk losing the familiar. Instead of nurturing themselves with new input, greater empowerment and an infusion of authentic response to old, negative or unsuitable thinking, they would rather stay in place.
To “step onto a brand-new path” as author Maya Angelou expressed, is somewhat terrifying, albeit necessary. It is why so many who talk a good game choose an unproductive middle path, the path being a steady stream of rather numbing change podcasts, so-called motivational speakers and virtual or in-person seminars that require the leader to do most of the heavy lifting.
Of course we can!
Having a qualified career coach to lead the executive leader and/or their team on a mindful journey toward meaningful change can be a powerful partnership. In the scenario, fears are compassionately pushed aside to allow true and reliable action and progress.
The creation of change is a partnership, an interplay between coach and executive. There should never be an atmosphere of judgment, rather a sharing of what has not worked in the past, why it hasn’t worked, and what approaches make more sense. We should also share that there is no approved “style,” or “buzzwords” or magic formulae.
Every executive leader is unique; their life experiences and even “language” is unique. Over a career, those qualities can be used to great advantage by the mindful and authentic leader.
Ultimately change will come from the executive leader’s awareness, compassion and the desire to be more effective, but most of all a willingness and openness to change.